Today is the last day of the Chinese New Year, and in Phnom Pehn there's a lot of chinese descendents and the full city is awake. We are in the last bus to Poipet, the Cambodian side of the border with Thailand. Sin Town. Finally we could take a bus and so we still have the chance to get in time to Bangkok's airport to fly to the last country of the trip: Myanmar. Now is 8.35 am of 15th of February. In this following 24 hours, we will be in three different countries, leaving the poor Cambodia just to face the even harder reality of Myanmar. There's no joy anymore. While I was looking around when I entered the bus, I took a glimpse at one farang's newspaper just in the right moment: it seems the Junta has freed yesterday Aung San Suu Kyi, putting end to the last home detention this Peace Noble prize winner has suffered. Although this prize has been completely
perverted this year, this woman, the Lady, has been a light to Myanmar over the last decades. And now, after this brief introduction I will keep remembering those far days of the end of january.
After three days of no sleeping, 12 hours of non-stop drinking and dancing in the best party in the world, tons of stories, memorable tunes, a chemical burn in my face thanks to the gloomy paint, my favourite t-shirt redesigned, luckily finding Murat, Ilker and Basar in the middel of a crowded beach and the last Chang of the moment, at about 9 am we started our holy pilgrimage towards my long time desired bed. In that time, I really thought I was fucking cursed. 50 m. before entering the hotel and instantly fall asleep, a grotesque view appears in front of my eyes. I see Nadège leaving the hostel, walking up the uphill road with the most drunk man I've seen in times. I was quite ok by that time, tired but not very drunk, and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. As we crossed, I asked her if she is really going with that guy, and she says me yes. No way. She looked pretty counscious. And she was even more than she looked like. The guy had a quite ugly cut in his
elbow, a lot of blood everywhere and an awesome melopea wich made him obey anything said by a beautiful woman. He spent all the luck of his life stumbling into her, and that is what eventually will save his left arm. We will never know. When I saw what was really happening, I felt I couldn't leave her alone dealing alone with such a problem and Murat and me took the motorbike and took him to the clinic. That guy was a fucking moron. He was so drunk that he didn't feel any pain at all, he didn't want to listen to us, nor the doctors, and he was refusing to believe his elbow tendon was completely cut and he could lose his left arm's mobility for the rest of his life if he didn't cooperate. Nothing could be done in Kho Pha-Ngan and he needed to be transferred by to Koh Samui's hospital in order to get the surgery he needed. Murat and me were holding him while the motherfucker only words were cigarreteeee light iiiit while looking dumbly to her, inside a medical clinic. I even asked the doctor to give him B12 and see his reaction to the events that were happening to him while he was almost passed out. This australian asshole didn't even told us his real name till the fourth time we asked threatening him with who knows what. He even jumped out from the taxi that was going to take him to the pier until Nadège entered first. It remind me a lot of my horses and the moment of putting them into the remorque. I hope he doesn't lose his mobility, Nadège doesn't deserve it, and I didn't deserve losing my sleeping time helping such a deaf dumbass.
Finally, after 4 days without the chance to sleep in a bed, I was about to catch one and have one of my most desired sleeps of my whole life. Again, for the third or fourth time, I was mistaken. The hut was full of european and turkish people and finding a place to rest was impossible. So I tried to sleep in a hammock next to the pool. Too much light, to much water to be able to do that. Instead, I stayed with Alba, Mario, and some turkish wich had already wake up talking about the previous night. By then, I had accepted already that I wasn't going to sleep. And then, one of the most funny and shocking moments of the trip occured. Alba and Mario were with me at the poolside, but the turkish were inside, and nobody but me reacted. A guy was drowning and everybody was looking at him fascinated. Just as in Germany with the tramway ride, me, the wasted one, was the only able to react. In a move the best Mitch Buccanan would have envied, I took of my t-shirt, threw it aside and jumped into the water with all my friend's eyes sring at me. It was so funny, yes, but I saved the guy. Although his answer was surprising even for me. I moved him, took his head out of the water and the reply I get is a what are you doing. What am I doing? WHAT AM I DOING? I'm saving your meaningless life, you bastard. In that moment I wasn't angry, just shocked. I got out the pool and sat again with my fellows, laughing and chatting about what had just happened. And then, two minutes later, I look at the pool again and I see the same guy going exactly the same way. I exploded. Four days without proper sleeping (maybe just a couple of hours between the bus and ferry to the island), a hell trip, two crazy parties, an australian drunk, desinformation and saving a guy wich was about to make me save him again, I just didn't let him speak. The second he opened his mouth, possibly to thank me, wich I doubt because he was fucking wasted, I let my angry side to take control. I said to him in a very serious way to shut up and keep away from the pool while I was in it or getting a kick in his mouth. I wouldn't have had any problem to do it. I was still out of the water and in a privileged position to kick his face with the perfect angle. And surprisingly, it seems the guy understood that he wasn't in the proper state to move along the pool and he stayed, in complete silence, grabbed to the border for about two of the four hours I spent inside. A good guy. The pool was like heaven. All the hydratation provided allowed me to stay awake and alive for almost half a day more. When I
got out, half of my body was looking like a raisin and my back was burnt. It has been till now the one and only time, after that, I begun to use suncream.
I went to have lunch with the people to the restaurant next to the Cocohut complex, quite cheap and really tasty. A good padthai and red curry. The normal curry was ok. In the end, we ate there like three or four times during our stay in Koh Pha-Ngan.
And finally, after four days of wandering, redbull, ice coffee and possibly wasting the vitality of half a year, I could sleep. While all of the erasmus but Martín were on the rented motorbikes discovering the island, playing with monkeys and watching elephants, I was enjoying the best siesta of my life. 4 to 5 hours of pure and healthy body and brain relax. I could barely believe I was going to finally rest. In a bed. Rest in a bed. Awesome. Fuck, it has been almost 15 days since that day and I still remember that precise moment with extreme happyness. When I woke up I expected to see Mario and the others there with a place for me in the motorbike I paid. They weren't. Later they told me they weren't so far away that coming back to get me was stupid. I agree with them, specially because Martín was there eager to rent a motorbike also. And so we did. We got to Haad Rin and rented our first motorbike of the trip, a good training for the days about to come. We started driving towards the pier and more, we crossed one quarter of the island at night, amazing roads in the middle of a palmtree jungle, far away the extremely touristic spot of Haad Rin and places around to the deep of the island life. We also saw our first elephant of the trip, we couldn't enjoy a ride like the others as we were all the time driving in the dark, but anyway it was a nice evening. Now I would have skipped it, not because I didn't enjoy it, but for the lost day it meant. After doing a circle trip and arriving the town by the right after leaving it by the left, we were fucking hungry. Being fucking hungry has become the second costant of the trip. Fuck, we eat a lot. In the pier there was a scenario with a reggae thai group (pretty bad, but enjoyable), like 20 or 30 different food stands and a lot of locals dining all the family together. That was the place I was looking for since I arrived Thailand, some spot with more thai people than farangs, and trust me, that is not very easy to find. We got a beer and started to look around all the different crazy stuff we were
offered, we ate in a tapas style, taking one thing from one, from another, drinking Chang and enjoying the enviroment.
We weren't brave enough to try insects. We haven't in the whole trip so far. Without any doubt, the roasted squid was the best. Really really nice. And the ice coffee. Ice coffees, ice teas, fruit shakes. That is southeast asia. They are so good that they should deserve a post for themselves. In that place I heared from the first time a thai reggae song, something like du du du duduaaaaa wich in the end, after Chiang Mai, I really like. I will search for it in Eskisehir.
Back in the hostel, quite early, and after having the last Chang of the day laying on a beach wooden bed, I had my first night of proper rest since the 24th. 7 days after my departure, the stars and the planets aligned and let me enjoy the dreaming experience. My brain could finally rest. My body not so much, of all the beds in the hut, mine was the only one wich was as comfortable as a table. Well, you cannot have everything.
miércoles, 3 de marzo de 2010
lunes, 1 de marzo de 2010
On-board diary 3. 29/30 January
I could pay myself the breakfast. At least I wasn't as wasted as the morning before, although the day was going to be as long as the previous ones. Mario and me managed to get the pictures ready in time, only Aga looked like a normal person, as the rest of us seemed junkies, russian dolls or zombies. Definitely, not respectable tourists (wich actually we aren't) who want to get a Myanmar visa. We gave the flashdisk to Candas having the certainty that all our work was going to be pointless, but anyway, we tried our best. Obviously, for getting the visa we had to apply by ourselves in the embassy. It's Myanmar, not an open, democratic country.
At the same time, at about 8 am all of us were ready to our first real trip of the journey. Destination: floating market. Again, the organizational issues appeared. Our bus was suppossed to pick us up at 8. Well, it was 8 and the first news we get are that the bus is not coming until one hour later. Well, that hour became two or more. The driver wanted to have breakfast or some shit like that. As the pictures were totally useless, and the meeting time was a fake, we could have had some really worthy sleep. We didn't. The fucked up point was that we didn't learned the lesson, and it was going to repeat a couple times more. Luckily, the redbull in Thailand is increidibly good, no bubbles, and so cheap, just 15 bath, wich is about half a dollar.
Finally, with a lot of bull's liver juice flowing trough my veins, the bus arrived and we headed towards the floating market, wich is about one hour -maybe a bit more- from Bangkok. It was fucking hot already, and a crowded minivan wasn't the best place to stay. I fell asleep at the moment my ass touched the seat. As my fellows told me, although I could have easily guessed it because of the non-stop laughs and jokes they were making, my head was moving from side to side, some kind of a puppet dancing in an aphasic mood. Ok, I had to be really enjoyable. Anyway, when we stopped because Fatih II (Fatih I is Murat's brother) was almost dying. We stopped in the middle of the road and he got down the bus, extremely pale, and layed
in the ground almost fainting. He seemed really fucked up, and having all the people surrounding him wasn't helping. I told the people to give him some sweet stuff, chocolate or anything, as he seemed to be having a sugar shortage, or a blood pressure drop. After 10 minutes stopped at one side of the road, we started to move again. Our arrival time was in about half an hour. I couldn't sleep any more. I was beggining to get used to it.
After all these incidents, we arrived at our destination. And it could hardly been more awesome. We stepped into a long thin wooden kayak, equipped with a fucking huge truck engine, and we begin to sail trough some water channels in the middle of the jungle. Damn, it was a fantastic experience, being able to observe the life of the people who live there in wooden huts -very massified nowadays, as it's a major tourist attraction- and to refresh as the temperature dropped a little bit thanks to the contact with the water. We stopped at some kind of pier and at the same moment we stand up in the ground, we were inside the market. This was our first real contact with the frenzy tourist bussiness of southeast asia. After almost one month, I can tell this was one of the worst parts of the journey. Everybody tries to sell you something, trying in all the languages they know, wich in fact are none, only three or four phrases aiming to get you a smile and feel sympathetic. The place was really nice, with a lot of old women in canoes selling food, fruit, wooden stuff and tiger balsam. One of them gave me a free head massage and then asked me for money. I said I didn't asked for it and she left so angry. Her fault. I bet the market is fantastic at 4am, where there is no tourist, just the locals trading stuff, but at almost midday is Harrod's. I had one of the most spicy padthai of all my journey, and thanks to the wonderful ice coffee Sinan gave me, I didn't jumped into the dirtiest river ever. Anyway, I enjoyed a lot the trip till there across the water canals, seeing elephants and water snakes.
But everything comes to an end, and we entered back the minivan -this time was on time, motherfuckers- to Bangkok, city of angels, city of sin. Cambodia's heat is horrible, but Bangkok deserves a honour place in hell's termometer.
We were all so excited, we were heading Koh Pha-Ngan, Full Moon Party was waiting for me. And then, I got to know the reality that was going to be all the trip: the killing bus trips to everywhere. I don't know at what time we got into that bus, I only know we arrived Kho Pha-Ngan next day, after suffering a vip bus, wich wasn't vip at all, waiting somewhere in southern Thailand for the next bus, on a very nice riverside, staring at the sunrise completely wasted and surrounded by the photographer's fever taking pictures and pictures and more pictures. I thank myself for not being like that, it's so stressful. And the "look at my pictures" stuff. I hope them the best, but please, I wish they are smart enough to know that most of them will end working in a mcdonalds, in an office job or as streetsweepers, being so unhappy. And after stopping in
three different places, we reached the boat. This one was nice, everybody so cheerful, drinking chang and eating shitty sandwiches. I didn't. I remember now the energy I had back then and I don't know where I lost it. Probably on the trip from Chiang Mai to Siem Reap. Yes, there it is. Arriving Koh Pha-Ngan was a relief and a preview. Murat was waiting for us with his motorbike, and we got into the car that took us to our hotel. A really posh one, as everything was full, and we didn't even have room, we were going to sleep in the hut next to the swimming pool. Really cheap, except for the small detail that we had to attend the buffet, wich was no cheap at all. But anyway, I ate like if I hadn't food for one month. And it was fantastic, chiken, beef, pork "brochetas", homemade slim delicious pizza, and a lot of extremely tasty things I don't remember. But the best, without any doubt, the free alcohol. Glass after glass of San Song with RedBull and Cola, I got ready for the party. Good times. Murat had some glow paint and we decorated ourselves in a real Full Moon Party style. Damn, that was fucking good, and without any need to be modest, my face was one of the best ones. Party guy, I deserved it. The bad side: the paint was so itchy, and it burnt my forehead, as well as making my favourite Circo tshirt an original Full Moon Party tshirt. But the stains combine with the colours, so it could have been worse.
After sipping all the cocktails we could for "free" and still being able to walk, we headed to Haad Rin beach. I swear I will be back there, my beloved readers, you've never seen nothing like that. Fuck off those disco parties, those huge techno clubs, the aftermath is Haad Rin beach at Full Moon. We just stepped into the beach and a fire swinging cord was there, awaiting the unconcious people to jump. My momma told me not to play with fire, and I follow her advise. Justyna and Murat got a whole life souvenir as a 2nd grade burnt, and a big hospital bill, but really, it was fantastic, so enjoyable, specially if you have a little sadistic mind like mine. After a couple of buckets more, we went to Cactus bar, climbed up the dancefloor and began to give our show. And after that is when my memories are blank. The next thing I remember is being sat in my meditation position next to a tree in the middle of the forest totally wasted. I don't know what happened, but I was fed up of the people, until Baran and the others rescued me to start our infructuous search for magic mushrooms. Or maybe they found, I saw a party next to beach and I stopped there for three hours. And it was worthy. I think I stayed there for three or four hours dancing barefoot to the best music I could have at that time, non-stop incredible drum&bass. Hit after hit, lovely girl after lovely girl, and without any more alcohol, music was all the drug I needed. All alone. It was a shame Albert wasn't there, he would have enjoyed it so so much, I have no words to describe it, and I only know I want to be back there. Full Moon Love.
And when the alcohol was beggining to clear off my veins, and I had no chance to end the night in an english or australian girl's bed -next day I knew why, the alcohol was still there, very visible on my face and words, as well as the paint- I decided to return hostel. I could only think of the bed. A bed. A real one. The first one since I left Turkey.
But I found Murat, Basar and Ilker. The realest. God, we were in Haad Rin and only four of us stayed partying almost till the end! And I forgot the bed in that exact moment, and stayed dancing for an hour or two more, fueled with more chang. Chang, after my beloved Estrella Galicia, one of the best beers for having just fun, I will miss it. And my trip's song was born. I will find Basar in Eskisehir to record it, the tikitikitikitiki ti is an anthem right now. By the way, I'm featured on the official Full Moon Party video. The only one. I knew it. Worldwide fame is awaiting. Try and download it if possible, I didn't want to see myself.
At the same time, at about 8 am all of us were ready to our first real trip of the journey. Destination: floating market. Again, the organizational issues appeared. Our bus was suppossed to pick us up at 8. Well, it was 8 and the first news we get are that the bus is not coming until one hour later. Well, that hour became two or more. The driver wanted to have breakfast or some shit like that. As the pictures were totally useless, and the meeting time was a fake, we could have had some really worthy sleep. We didn't. The fucked up point was that we didn't learned the lesson, and it was going to repeat a couple times more. Luckily, the redbull in Thailand is increidibly good, no bubbles, and so cheap, just 15 bath, wich is about half a dollar.
Finally, with a lot of bull's liver juice flowing trough my veins, the bus arrived and we headed towards the floating market, wich is about one hour -maybe a bit more- from Bangkok. It was fucking hot already, and a crowded minivan wasn't the best place to stay. I fell asleep at the moment my ass touched the seat. As my fellows told me, although I could have easily guessed it because of the non-stop laughs and jokes they were making, my head was moving from side to side, some kind of a puppet dancing in an aphasic mood. Ok, I had to be really enjoyable. Anyway, when we stopped because Fatih II (Fatih I is Murat's brother) was almost dying. We stopped in the middle of the road and he got down the bus, extremely pale, and layed
in the ground almost fainting. He seemed really fucked up, and having all the people surrounding him wasn't helping. I told the people to give him some sweet stuff, chocolate or anything, as he seemed to be having a sugar shortage, or a blood pressure drop. After 10 minutes stopped at one side of the road, we started to move again. Our arrival time was in about half an hour. I couldn't sleep any more. I was beggining to get used to it.
After all these incidents, we arrived at our destination. And it could hardly been more awesome. We stepped into a long thin wooden kayak, equipped with a fucking huge truck engine, and we begin to sail trough some water channels in the middle of the jungle. Damn, it was a fantastic experience, being able to observe the life of the people who live there in wooden huts -very massified nowadays, as it's a major tourist attraction- and to refresh as the temperature dropped a little bit thanks to the contact with the water. We stopped at some kind of pier and at the same moment we stand up in the ground, we were inside the market. This was our first real contact with the frenzy tourist bussiness of southeast asia. After almost one month, I can tell this was one of the worst parts of the journey. Everybody tries to sell you something, trying in all the languages they know, wich in fact are none, only three or four phrases aiming to get you a smile and feel sympathetic. The place was really nice, with a lot of old women in canoes selling food, fruit, wooden stuff and tiger balsam. One of them gave me a free head massage and then asked me for money. I said I didn't asked for it and she left so angry. Her fault. I bet the market is fantastic at 4am, where there is no tourist, just the locals trading stuff, but at almost midday is Harrod's. I had one of the most spicy padthai of all my journey, and thanks to the wonderful ice coffee Sinan gave me, I didn't jumped into the dirtiest river ever. Anyway, I enjoyed a lot the trip till there across the water canals, seeing elephants and water snakes.
But everything comes to an end, and we entered back the minivan -this time was on time, motherfuckers- to Bangkok, city of angels, city of sin. Cambodia's heat is horrible, but Bangkok deserves a honour place in hell's termometer.
We were all so excited, we were heading Koh Pha-Ngan, Full Moon Party was waiting for me. And then, I got to know the reality that was going to be all the trip: the killing bus trips to everywhere. I don't know at what time we got into that bus, I only know we arrived Kho Pha-Ngan next day, after suffering a vip bus, wich wasn't vip at all, waiting somewhere in southern Thailand for the next bus, on a very nice riverside, staring at the sunrise completely wasted and surrounded by the photographer's fever taking pictures and pictures and more pictures. I thank myself for not being like that, it's so stressful. And the "look at my pictures" stuff. I hope them the best, but please, I wish they are smart enough to know that most of them will end working in a mcdonalds, in an office job or as streetsweepers, being so unhappy. And after stopping in
three different places, we reached the boat. This one was nice, everybody so cheerful, drinking chang and eating shitty sandwiches. I didn't. I remember now the energy I had back then and I don't know where I lost it. Probably on the trip from Chiang Mai to Siem Reap. Yes, there it is. Arriving Koh Pha-Ngan was a relief and a preview. Murat was waiting for us with his motorbike, and we got into the car that took us to our hotel. A really posh one, as everything was full, and we didn't even have room, we were going to sleep in the hut next to the swimming pool. Really cheap, except for the small detail that we had to attend the buffet, wich was no cheap at all. But anyway, I ate like if I hadn't food for one month. And it was fantastic, chiken, beef, pork "brochetas", homemade slim delicious pizza, and a lot of extremely tasty things I don't remember. But the best, without any doubt, the free alcohol. Glass after glass of San Song with RedBull and Cola, I got ready for the party. Good times. Murat had some glow paint and we decorated ourselves in a real Full Moon Party style. Damn, that was fucking good, and without any need to be modest, my face was one of the best ones. Party guy, I deserved it. The bad side: the paint was so itchy, and it burnt my forehead, as well as making my favourite Circo tshirt an original Full Moon Party tshirt. But the stains combine with the colours, so it could have been worse.
After sipping all the cocktails we could for "free" and still being able to walk, we headed to Haad Rin beach. I swear I will be back there, my beloved readers, you've never seen nothing like that. Fuck off those disco parties, those huge techno clubs, the aftermath is Haad Rin beach at Full Moon. We just stepped into the beach and a fire swinging cord was there, awaiting the unconcious people to jump. My momma told me not to play with fire, and I follow her advise. Justyna and Murat got a whole life souvenir as a 2nd grade burnt, and a big hospital bill, but really, it was fantastic, so enjoyable, specially if you have a little sadistic mind like mine. After a couple of buckets more, we went to Cactus bar, climbed up the dancefloor and began to give our show. And after that is when my memories are blank. The next thing I remember is being sat in my meditation position next to a tree in the middle of the forest totally wasted. I don't know what happened, but I was fed up of the people, until Baran and the others rescued me to start our infructuous search for magic mushrooms. Or maybe they found, I saw a party next to beach and I stopped there for three hours. And it was worthy. I think I stayed there for three or four hours dancing barefoot to the best music I could have at that time, non-stop incredible drum&bass. Hit after hit, lovely girl after lovely girl, and without any more alcohol, music was all the drug I needed. All alone. It was a shame Albert wasn't there, he would have enjoyed it so so much, I have no words to describe it, and I only know I want to be back there. Full Moon Love.
And when the alcohol was beggining to clear off my veins, and I had no chance to end the night in an english or australian girl's bed -next day I knew why, the alcohol was still there, very visible on my face and words, as well as the paint- I decided to return hostel. I could only think of the bed. A bed. A real one. The first one since I left Turkey.
But I found Murat, Basar and Ilker. The realest. God, we were in Haad Rin and only four of us stayed partying almost till the end! And I forgot the bed in that exact moment, and stayed dancing for an hour or two more, fueled with more chang. Chang, after my beloved Estrella Galicia, one of the best beers for having just fun, I will miss it. And my trip's song was born. I will find Basar in Eskisehir to record it, the tikitikitikitiki ti is an anthem right now. By the way, I'm featured on the official Full Moon Party video. The only one. I knew it. Worldwide fame is awaiting. Try and download it if possible, I didn't want to see myself.
On-board diary 2. 28 January
I'm writing this entry from our guesthouse in Siem Raep, Cambodia. After almost a day of trip, finally changed country and the differences are pretty obvious since the moment you cross the border; but this belongs to a future post.
I don't know when the second day of my southeast asia adventure exactly started, as i couldn't sleep at all that first night in Bangkok. At that moment I didn't knew this one I will happen the same. After wandering half dead almost all the morning, living on the bath my turkish fellows lend me as the exchange office that was supossed to open at 8.30 am didn't do it until two hours later, and reaching lunch time, finally, all the erasmus people woke up: The last ones, those who privated me from using my lovely bedroom. By that time I had sweated all the alcohol in my body, and beside my eyes, I had a pretty good face and quite a lot of energy, so we went to have lunch to the same place we ate last night and we followed the first group on their afternoon excursion through Bangkok. I think we were Martín, Aga, Justyna, Murat and me. We went to the pier next to our guesthouse aheading the most ancient and crazy part of the city: Chinatown. This crazy labyrinth of streets was full of everyhting you can find, incredibly crowded and with motorbikes totally loaded with boxes driving in the middle of all people. The street are as narrow as my arms widespread. But without any doubt, the most impressive stuff there was the food. I can assure everybody i couldn't recongnize what the hell was about an 80% of all the items displayed. I saw deshidrated squids, fried duck heads, the most awful-looking chickens I've ever seen, and that horrible pink stuff i still cannot imagine what can it be. And bugs, of course, in those fantastic ways like a brochette.
After that, We kept walking back towards Khao San Road discovering Bangkok, and it was a fucking long way. We stopped at our first big temple of the trip, Wat Suthep, with a huge buddah statue and some people dpraying. It was nice, but by now I've seen better ones. Murat told us that normally there's an old high ranked monk giving prayings and blessing the people. We didn't see it; anyway, I've been blessed in Thailand and Cambodia. Walking the streets of normal working Bangkok was quite nice, seeing all the cable labyriths they have and squirrels running along them in the middle of a capital city. After the temple we headed towards the Royal Palace, wich we saw from the distance. We were in a street full of buddah shops, where you can even buy big buckets full of everything from food to toothpaste to leave as a present in the temple of your choice. It's a crazy thing that of the offers and donatives.
Finally, we stopped to eat on a place next to the river inside some kind of eating galleries. Following the advice of Murat, I decided to try Tom Yam, a typical thai soup that was so fucking hot -as everything here- and not very tasty. I ended ordering also a fried rice with chicken. Much better. In our way out, the coolest phone I've ever seen and probably ever will see: a Doraemon's head. Instant love. We arrived New Siam some hours before dinner time and just stayed there, enjoying some Changs and getting ready for one of the most weird and famous places in Bangkok: Patpong district.
Patpong deservers a highly descriptive paragraph for itself. This is the famous district of lust and vice, the incredibly crowded prostitution quarter. Once you step out the tuk-tuk, you can't stop hearing guys offering you all kind of shows, places and different services. You can do whatever you want here. Well, you can do whatever you want in Cambodia, fuck, I hate being so late in the blog, and cannot fully describe the things as I feeled them in the first moment, making comparisons with future events. Patpong. Pinponchoooooou. Heaven and hell, depending on who goes there, and what you see. The nightlife there is so different from Khao San Road, full of tourist, but less dreadlock neohippie backpacking and more tourism, nightlife backpackers, expats, locals and all kind of perverts. We arrived in a quite small group, the first erasmus but Robert, Murat, Ilker, Erdem, Fatih, the elder couple and maybe someone else. I don't remember. After being offered thirty
times different pingpongshows wich I couldn't wait to see, maybe one of the best knowns attractions in Thailand. We went to a girl's bar, wich is like a brothel but with more aspect of pub, with an elevated central corridor full of incredible girls (and incredible ladyboys) dancing on it, looking at you, pushing their breasts, looking fucking hot, and with a number sticked to their bra so you can order the one you like just like you order a Singha, a Leo or a Chang. New age slavery, old times pleasure. They stepped up to dance in turns, ladyboys, girls, ladyboys, girls, and on an on. It was easy to recognize when the ladyboys were because of two or three really malish ones, but fuck, those ladyboys look incredible if you only take a glimpse at them. Much of them, with ones of the best bodies I've ever seen. Not hot at all, they have three legs. Anyway,
most of the girls where simply astonishing, most of them (un)dressed and painted in a way that looked like 17 year old girls ready to fulfill those pervert's dreams of southeast asia. Non of them is under 25, but anyway, going there looking for a girl who looks like an early teenager is really fucked up. My opinion. I fell in love with number 135. Really, that girl was much more than a dream come true. Perfect smile, perfect face, perfect body, and probably perfect price. I didn't try the last assumption. They were also quite desinhibited. We were next to the door where they change, and two of them, wich had their lockers just in front, simply changed clothes there without closing the door. Full show. Besides the wonderful sight of beauty, there are two things really worthy to quote: the comic situation of seeing the ladyboys going into the ladies toilet to out make-up and the same ladyboy going after to the man's one to pick up nature's call; and the shocking one of seeing each of them praying and giving offers to the buddah just before going up the central row. That is a cultural shock just because the kind of hating education we are given, the prostitutes are people just as you and me, and still don't know why a politician or a banker "deserves" more respect. And in these highly religious countries, everybody prays and gives offers to buddah. Even this, it's something you need to see. After a couple of beers there, we went out and suffered again the horde of guys offering the pingpongshows. But it was a must-see stuff. We went into three or four of them just to check because as they said "can cheee fo freeeee". Really, I think there are more than 20 different places, Bangkok it's Sin City. Finally, we entered one. Sensitive people, keep out. Normal people, or just people with sense of adventure and willingness to discover, welcome to one of the most shocking shows I believe you can experience in Thailand. Between the erotic and the disgusting, much more closer to the disgusting, specially for the "gorgeus" women doing all kinds of strange and painful stuff with their pussies, you are able to see something hard to describe with words. I will do it, but first, a warning: they will lie to you. We entered and stayed having two or three beer each (100 THB per unit) because they said we will only pay the beers, while in the end they wanted each one of us to pay 1000 THB for having seen the show. Luckily, we were all the first group there, about twenty people, we stayed in our position and we simply left without paying the scam. I'm not sure if going just two or three people (if you go alone you are a fucking pervert) it would be that easy. Now, the beautiful/awful reality. Those women are simply amazing. I bet if you fuck one of them you can't last for more than two minutes. They have to be fucking incredible fuckers. Shit, el polvo más brutal de la historia. I don't doubt that. When you enter a place and the first thing you see is a woman in 4 with a whistle plugged in her pussy and blewing, you know you are in a different place. Get ready for the most bizarre stuff you will probably read in this blog.
- The string: Ilker was the man. He had the needed guts to grab the 5 meter coloured string from that ruined and probably pussy and pull and pull until the end. Like a magician's never ending rope, but coming from a pussy.
- The nut-cracker: Sick. The woman placed a nut in the middle of the stage and with two to three worm-like movements, she cracked it with her pussy. Great for christmas time.
- The egg: This was simply amazing. The lady put inside her cunt a fresh egg and, with vaginal movements, and a glass in the right spot, she threw the egg without breaking it inside her to the glass and broke it. Opening an egg will never ever be the same for me.
- The birthday cake: The big cake with a stripper inside is dead. The new deal is a girl wich also places a straw down there and blows the candles. Why there are only birthday gardens for kids?
- The smoking pussy: Old time weird fetish, ladys smoking. I hope I never meet a girl like that, if smoking in the traditional way is bad for health, having smoke inside there has to be (and it's) disgusting. Okay, nobody will taste that, but just imagine doing it after the cigarrette. You are even asked to light it.
- The pingpong show: Probably one of the most famous tricks they perform, it's pretty impressive. Throwing a pingpongball with the enough strenght to make it fly for 4 to 5 meters. And aiming at the customers. Justyna was hit a few times, Fatih took one all covered in fluids and they even made it close to put them into some whiskey glasses. Anyway, the best thing is that they give you a racket so you can play pingpong against them. Actually, is just something to avoid being hit with the most dirty bullet ever. Empoverished uranium is nothing compared to that.
- The bottle-opener: Seriously, this could easily be one of the hardest and mentally painful things I've ever witnessed. Those who know me are aware of my famous party ability, the skill to open beer bottles with my mouth in a bunch of seconds. I've been definitely beaten. Opening a beer bottle with a pussy requires far more ability as well as a complete lack of interest for your body integrity. God, that was fucking awesome.
- The balloons: Last one. And for me, the most impressive one. I knew they could do this before seeing it, but once I witnessed, I can do nothing but surrender to their skills. They can fucking kill you with the pussy, and I'm not saying it in a sexual way. They place a straw in their hole and suddenly, all the balloons places around the stage begin to explode. They are able to shoot real sharp darts with an astonishing precission, even breaking rows of two or three ballons in the same attemp. For me, this was definitely THE trick, both for the violence and the surgical precission they have.
A must seen stuff. I mean it.
One or two hours after we reached the hostel, previously stopping at McThay. I wasn't tired in that moment, but I knew i wouldn't go out, not even to welcome the second group as I needed to sleep after two days. In the end, I didn't sleep again. When I was about to start dreaming, I heard the voices of some of them and decided to go downstairs and meet them. I shouldn't. Because nobody of us had passport size photos for applying for the visa to Myanmar except Martín, and they planned to apply next day, just for a trying, wich in the end was a futile effort, and the photo stores were already closed because it was about 1 am, we found an alternative method: Mario took us pictures using the white walls of my room and then we started a proccess to fit them to needed size. It took us all the night. There are like 7 different computer programmes to convert any photo to passport size. We know that because we had to download them all, install them, and every time we thought we had achived it, something wasn't correct. We bought a fucking pendrive just to be able to pass them from the hostel's computers to mine, and back to the hostel's computer. All for nothing, as it was needed to go personally to the embassy.
They could have asked before, as well as reminding erasmus people heads of bringing pictures for applying for visas. I know it's pretty obvious, but it's evenmore easier to forget it. All the turkish had. No one of the erasmus. That information management was about to become a constant in the trip. And so on, I achived my third consecutive night without sleeping. And next day, or that day, as I was already on 29th, the story was going to continue.
I don't know when the second day of my southeast asia adventure exactly started, as i couldn't sleep at all that first night in Bangkok. At that moment I didn't knew this one I will happen the same. After wandering half dead almost all the morning, living on the bath my turkish fellows lend me as the exchange office that was supossed to open at 8.30 am didn't do it until two hours later, and reaching lunch time, finally, all the erasmus people woke up: The last ones, those who privated me from using my lovely bedroom. By that time I had sweated all the alcohol in my body, and beside my eyes, I had a pretty good face and quite a lot of energy, so we went to have lunch to the same place we ate last night and we followed the first group on their afternoon excursion through Bangkok. I think we were Martín, Aga, Justyna, Murat and me. We went to the pier next to our guesthouse aheading the most ancient and crazy part of the city: Chinatown. This crazy labyrinth of streets was full of everyhting you can find, incredibly crowded and with motorbikes totally loaded with boxes driving in the middle of all people. The street are as narrow as my arms widespread. But without any doubt, the most impressive stuff there was the food. I can assure everybody i couldn't recongnize what the hell was about an 80% of all the items displayed. I saw deshidrated squids, fried duck heads, the most awful-looking chickens I've ever seen, and that horrible pink stuff i still cannot imagine what can it be. And bugs, of course, in those fantastic ways like a brochette.
After that, We kept walking back towards Khao San Road discovering Bangkok, and it was a fucking long way. We stopped at our first big temple of the trip, Wat Suthep, with a huge buddah statue and some people dpraying. It was nice, but by now I've seen better ones. Murat told us that normally there's an old high ranked monk giving prayings and blessing the people. We didn't see it; anyway, I've been blessed in Thailand and Cambodia. Walking the streets of normal working Bangkok was quite nice, seeing all the cable labyriths they have and squirrels running along them in the middle of a capital city. After the temple we headed towards the Royal Palace, wich we saw from the distance. We were in a street full of buddah shops, where you can even buy big buckets full of everything from food to toothpaste to leave as a present in the temple of your choice. It's a crazy thing that of the offers and donatives.
Finally, we stopped to eat on a place next to the river inside some kind of eating galleries. Following the advice of Murat, I decided to try Tom Yam, a typical thai soup that was so fucking hot -as everything here- and not very tasty. I ended ordering also a fried rice with chicken. Much better. In our way out, the coolest phone I've ever seen and probably ever will see: a Doraemon's head. Instant love. We arrived New Siam some hours before dinner time and just stayed there, enjoying some Changs and getting ready for one of the most weird and famous places in Bangkok: Patpong district.
Patpong deservers a highly descriptive paragraph for itself. This is the famous district of lust and vice, the incredibly crowded prostitution quarter. Once you step out the tuk-tuk, you can't stop hearing guys offering you all kind of shows, places and different services. You can do whatever you want here. Well, you can do whatever you want in Cambodia, fuck, I hate being so late in the blog, and cannot fully describe the things as I feeled them in the first moment, making comparisons with future events. Patpong. Pinponchoooooou. Heaven and hell, depending on who goes there, and what you see. The nightlife there is so different from Khao San Road, full of tourist, but less dreadlock neohippie backpacking and more tourism, nightlife backpackers, expats, locals and all kind of perverts. We arrived in a quite small group, the first erasmus but Robert, Murat, Ilker, Erdem, Fatih, the elder couple and maybe someone else. I don't remember. After being offered thirty
times different pingpongshows wich I couldn't wait to see, maybe one of the best knowns attractions in Thailand. We went to a girl's bar, wich is like a brothel but with more aspect of pub, with an elevated central corridor full of incredible girls (and incredible ladyboys) dancing on it, looking at you, pushing their breasts, looking fucking hot, and with a number sticked to their bra so you can order the one you like just like you order a Singha, a Leo or a Chang. New age slavery, old times pleasure. They stepped up to dance in turns, ladyboys, girls, ladyboys, girls, and on an on. It was easy to recognize when the ladyboys were because of two or three really malish ones, but fuck, those ladyboys look incredible if you only take a glimpse at them. Much of them, with ones of the best bodies I've ever seen. Not hot at all, they have three legs. Anyway,
most of the girls where simply astonishing, most of them (un)dressed and painted in a way that looked like 17 year old girls ready to fulfill those pervert's dreams of southeast asia. Non of them is under 25, but anyway, going there looking for a girl who looks like an early teenager is really fucked up. My opinion. I fell in love with number 135. Really, that girl was much more than a dream come true. Perfect smile, perfect face, perfect body, and probably perfect price. I didn't try the last assumption. They were also quite desinhibited. We were next to the door where they change, and two of them, wich had their lockers just in front, simply changed clothes there without closing the door. Full show. Besides the wonderful sight of beauty, there are two things really worthy to quote: the comic situation of seeing the ladyboys going into the ladies toilet to out make-up and the same ladyboy going after to the man's one to pick up nature's call; and the shocking one of seeing each of them praying and giving offers to the buddah just before going up the central row. That is a cultural shock just because the kind of hating education we are given, the prostitutes are people just as you and me, and still don't know why a politician or a banker "deserves" more respect. And in these highly religious countries, everybody prays and gives offers to buddah. Even this, it's something you need to see. After a couple of beers there, we went out and suffered again the horde of guys offering the pingpongshows. But it was a must-see stuff. We went into three or four of them just to check because as they said "can cheee fo freeeee". Really, I think there are more than 20 different places, Bangkok it's Sin City. Finally, we entered one. Sensitive people, keep out. Normal people, or just people with sense of adventure and willingness to discover, welcome to one of the most shocking shows I believe you can experience in Thailand. Between the erotic and the disgusting, much more closer to the disgusting, specially for the "gorgeus" women doing all kinds of strange and painful stuff with their pussies, you are able to see something hard to describe with words. I will do it, but first, a warning: they will lie to you. We entered and stayed having two or three beer each (100 THB per unit) because they said we will only pay the beers, while in the end they wanted each one of us to pay 1000 THB for having seen the show. Luckily, we were all the first group there, about twenty people, we stayed in our position and we simply left without paying the scam. I'm not sure if going just two or three people (if you go alone you are a fucking pervert) it would be that easy. Now, the beautiful/awful reality. Those women are simply amazing. I bet if you fuck one of them you can't last for more than two minutes. They have to be fucking incredible fuckers. Shit, el polvo más brutal de la historia. I don't doubt that. When you enter a place and the first thing you see is a woman in 4 with a whistle plugged in her pussy and blewing, you know you are in a different place. Get ready for the most bizarre stuff you will probably read in this blog.
- The string: Ilker was the man. He had the needed guts to grab the 5 meter coloured string from that ruined and probably pussy and pull and pull until the end. Like a magician's never ending rope, but coming from a pussy.
- The nut-cracker: Sick. The woman placed a nut in the middle of the stage and with two to three worm-like movements, she cracked it with her pussy. Great for christmas time.
- The egg: This was simply amazing. The lady put inside her cunt a fresh egg and, with vaginal movements, and a glass in the right spot, she threw the egg without breaking it inside her to the glass and broke it. Opening an egg will never ever be the same for me.
- The birthday cake: The big cake with a stripper inside is dead. The new deal is a girl wich also places a straw down there and blows the candles. Why there are only birthday gardens for kids?
- The smoking pussy: Old time weird fetish, ladys smoking. I hope I never meet a girl like that, if smoking in the traditional way is bad for health, having smoke inside there has to be (and it's) disgusting. Okay, nobody will taste that, but just imagine doing it after the cigarrette. You are even asked to light it.
- The pingpong show: Probably one of the most famous tricks they perform, it's pretty impressive. Throwing a pingpongball with the enough strenght to make it fly for 4 to 5 meters. And aiming at the customers. Justyna was hit a few times, Fatih took one all covered in fluids and they even made it close to put them into some whiskey glasses. Anyway, the best thing is that they give you a racket so you can play pingpong against them. Actually, is just something to avoid being hit with the most dirty bullet ever. Empoverished uranium is nothing compared to that.
- The bottle-opener: Seriously, this could easily be one of the hardest and mentally painful things I've ever witnessed. Those who know me are aware of my famous party ability, the skill to open beer bottles with my mouth in a bunch of seconds. I've been definitely beaten. Opening a beer bottle with a pussy requires far more ability as well as a complete lack of interest for your body integrity. God, that was fucking awesome.
- The balloons: Last one. And for me, the most impressive one. I knew they could do this before seeing it, but once I witnessed, I can do nothing but surrender to their skills. They can fucking kill you with the pussy, and I'm not saying it in a sexual way. They place a straw in their hole and suddenly, all the balloons places around the stage begin to explode. They are able to shoot real sharp darts with an astonishing precission, even breaking rows of two or three ballons in the same attemp. For me, this was definitely THE trick, both for the violence and the surgical precission they have.
A must seen stuff. I mean it.
One or two hours after we reached the hostel, previously stopping at McThay. I wasn't tired in that moment, but I knew i wouldn't go out, not even to welcome the second group as I needed to sleep after two days. In the end, I didn't sleep again. When I was about to start dreaming, I heard the voices of some of them and decided to go downstairs and meet them. I shouldn't. Because nobody of us had passport size photos for applying for the visa to Myanmar except Martín, and they planned to apply next day, just for a trying, wich in the end was a futile effort, and the photo stores were already closed because it was about 1 am, we found an alternative method: Mario took us pictures using the white walls of my room and then we started a proccess to fit them to needed size. It took us all the night. There are like 7 different computer programmes to convert any photo to passport size. We know that because we had to download them all, install them, and every time we thought we had achived it, something wasn't correct. We bought a fucking pendrive just to be able to pass them from the hostel's computers to mine, and back to the hostel's computer. All for nothing, as it was needed to go personally to the embassy.
They could have asked before, as well as reminding erasmus people heads of bringing pictures for applying for visas. I know it's pretty obvious, but it's evenmore easier to forget it. All the turkish had. No one of the erasmus. That information management was about to become a constant in the trip. And so on, I achived my third consecutive night without sleeping. And next day, or that day, as I was already on 29th, the story was going to continue.
On-board diary 1. 26/27 January
We arrived a completely snowed Istanbul at about 1 pm, Martín left to meet with Gokhan and Robert and me to Atatürk Airport. 4 fucking hours in there, with the need of having to pass a security ring each time I wanted to comeback from smoking a cigarrete totally fed up of doing nothing. I tried to dry my clothes, they didn't, Later we met Aga & Justyna and we went to the Burger King just before entering the plane completely afraid of the plane we were about to see. And we totally forgot it when we enterered. A normal plane, a Boeing, not that fearsome russian Tuvolev I was expecting, with a normal crew, plane meals, everything you expect when you pay 600 € for a ticket, but not when that ticket is handwritten and has about 8 pages. Or when you take a look at their website. A perfectly normal flight to Ashgabat. Since Guernsey, I never went down a plain by stairs till 27th dawn. On the international airport of a gas-rich country capital, I did it again. It was so cold back there, in the most sovietic, small and unconfortable airport I've ever seen, and we had to wait there for our plane to paradise for about 4 hours. I drinked a tea because a beer was 5 US$, begun to read Acid House, played tuttifrutti and made a lot of trips to the bathroom corridor. I met just when i got down the plane the only turkmen I already knew, my classmate, he was going back home and he welcomed me to his country. Nice, but it didn'd make it better.
Finally, our departure hour arrived and we could leave to Bangkok. A six hours flight , but it wasn't so bad, just long. Our arrival was so good. Without the need of a visa, just a small queue to get the stamp with a lady screaming "oteneeeeee", wich turned out to mean "hotel name". Our first introduction to Thai english, wich is always like that.
-handson maaaa
-biutufuuuuuu
-eloooooo
So nice. Back there was so fucking hot. Really jungle sticky hot. Murat and Candaş were waiting for us in the departure gate. So good move: leaving the airports by the departure's gate is cheaper as the taxis cannot stop there. Murat gave me my first 1000 bath and negotiated with the driven the cost of the trip to Khao San Road, mecca of backpackers, incredible. We slept on New Siam Guesthouse, one minute from Khao San Road, full of people from all the world and with a really good padthai for less than one euro. After leaving our stuff and eating, straight to the party. Buckets of all sort of things and Chang wich linked to the later events of the night lead me to the first Changover in Thailand. Nice place to go out on party.
My battery is finishing and I didn't took the charger, so this are the last lines of these days. Maybe I'll will explain another time the end of the night. But as the first impression, Thailand is so fucking awesome. Wich is true after 14 days here.
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